What You Say to Your Child Becomes their Inner Voice


Have you ever listened to the voice inside your head that tells you that you cannot do something, you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve it or you can’t do that?  You know that little voice of doubt and self-criticism that loves to give you endless reasons why something you desire is not possible?  Have you ever wondered where those thoughts came from and what you have missed out on by not doing something due to the fear these thoughts created?

Babies and young infants have this amazing sense of adventure and curiosity coupled with fierce determination that tends to fizzle out as they get older and can often be lost in a lot of adults.  We’ve all seen the chaos toddlers can cause when they want something, which in one respect is quite admirable as they are so connected to their purpose yet as a mother I can appreciate the adult frustrations this brings.

We are all born with this survival spirit that has full faith in its abilities and no doubt whatsoever that it can’t be done so why is it so many of us lose this fiery passion?  I believe that as parents we have a bigger influence on this than what is fully appreciated.  So many times I have been at play centres or parks and heard parents tell other adults that their child can’t do this or their so lazy they won’t do that.  I have heard children be called stupid and even sworn at which personally I find appalling and disrespectful.  Of course I understand the importance of discipline yet as parents we are role models and teachers to our children and we need to teach constructively in a positive manner. 

If my son says to me I can’t do it, I will always say of course you can, let’s find a way or do you want me to show you how you can?  Infants don’t give up learning to walk after their first few steps because they can’t do it and are always positively encouraged to persevere so why can’t we continually teach like this? 

As parents I feel we need to be more conscious of the words we use around our children as well as be mindful of the tonality and energy that words have.  I always tell my son how much I love him that I think he’s amazing, kind, loving, generous, funny and many more positive attributes as I want his sense of self-worth and self-belief to be built on these foundations rather than doubtful negative ones.  This is not done from a narcissistic perspective but from a place of love that will help to nurture and grow his self confidence in a positive way which I hope will ensure he grows up with a proactive can do attitude and willing to give anything a go.  Only time will tell ……….

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