Being a Mum Hurts ..... The True Pain of Motherhood

Being a mum hurts, and I’m not talking about the discomforts of pregnancy or the physical pains of childbirth, I’m talking about the deep emotional hurt that hits in a variety of ways which have the ability to leave you feeling blindsided.

There are a number of things other parents fail to share to newbie parents, such as how you will never sleep again or in this case how much it hurts you emotionally as a mum.  Even if they did share, true understanding only comes with experience.  I have loved and lost, been rejected, ecstatic, lost and alone yet the rollercoaster of emotions you experience as a mum is second to none.

Society can dictate that these feelings are not normal or that you are alone in experiencing them.  Often people are uncomfortable when others share the sad stuff, just look at Facebook with endless posts of how amazing life is, yet this is not always the case.

It hurts when someone makes an offhand comment that implies you are a bad mother when every day you strive to do your very best to give everything you have to your child.

It hurts when you have to scold your child or, if on an off day you unintentionally raise your voice and are short with them when all you really want to do is ask for 5 minutes peace so you can visit the bathroom …, alone!

The endless broken sleep and constant responsibility hurts, it is draining and it is relentless so to cope with this you have to develop an enormous amount of resilience and perseverance plus have an endless supply of coffee.

You grieve the loss of your old life, the freedom, the ability to be spontaneous as your world becomes an endless routine designed to give your little one the most comfort possible and yes some days do feel like ground hog day and the fact that this can get you down sometimes does also hurt.

It hurts that you do lose your normal social life and friends, especially those without kids.  It is natural to drift away from friends with children as routines can clash yet it is possible to drift back in to each other’s lives from time to time and nothing beats seeing your children playing together. 

It hurts that you feel jealous towards your single friends who are enjoying the life you frequently miss and then the guilt floods in that these feelings even arise.

Having a baby hurts the bank account and you can say goodbye to keeping up with the latest fashion as every trip to the shops is either buy bigger clothes to fit the growing bundle of energy or you are too terrified of a meltdown that you dare not browse for yourself!

The deepest pain you’ll ever feel as a mother is when your child has hurt themselves, is sad or sick.  Time stops still as nothing else matters with all priorities focused towards the little one.

My journey along this path of motherhood pain is still in its infancy, if you’ll pardon the pun, and I have been warmed the heart strings will get tugged again when they head off to school for the first time plus constant heartache in the teenage years! Then before you know it your little baby has flown the nest which I can only imagine hurts a little more again!

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